I.
Want.
To..
CLIMB.
It has been over a month since I last got to get out and get after it. But nothing too committing since Thanksgiving rock climbing at Red Rock, and true to the addiction that climbing is, I want to go harder, faster, and lighter. I want to push my abilities to the limit in the heat of the moment, while still maintaining control. I want the rush, I want the sense of achievement, and most of all I want the adventure. I want to grow as a climber and work on my weaknesses, not just avoid them. I want to become an alpinist, capable of being competent on rock, ice, and mixed terrain. I am not content climbing rock, nor am I content climbing ice. And let me be clear, by no means am I any good at either, I’m just a neophyte feeling my way through the incredible experience that is climbing.
To me climbing isn’t about competition, it’s not about bragging that you climbed something that most people that don’t climb could give a shit about, and even if they did climb, they still probably don’t care unless you climbed the hardest route on a cool mountain. Climbing is individual experience at its finest, two people can be on the same route, climbing attached to the same route, and often the adventure was vastly different for either person.
Commitment.
Looking at an excerpt from Mark Twight’s brilliant tyrade, Twitching With Twight from his Kiss or Kill collection stands out to me as an inspiration.
“Live the lifestyle instead of paying lip service to the lifestyle. Live with commitment. With emotional content. Live whatever life you choose honestly. Give up this renaissance man, dilettante bullshit of doing a lot of different things (and none of them very well by real standards). Get to the guts of one thing; accept, without reservation or rationalization, the responsibility of making a choice. When you live honestly, you can not separate your mind from your body, or your thoughts from your actions.” – Mark Twight
Nothing, to me, is worse than a lack of commitment. Maybe it’s because I rarely tip-toe into things, rather I prefer to get the whole dosage. Whether it was with triathlon training or alpinism, two things I enjoy immensely, I took the plunge. Again, I’m not the most committed of my friends, not the most talented, and not even remotely close to the best climber, triathlete, etc, I am merely making observations. Live your life with commitment to whatever it is you choose to do. Why bother if you choose to do it any other way? As Twight says, get to the guts of one thing – be it cycling, alpinism, ballet, whatever makes you feel alive, just get to the middle of it and accept it. Don’t waste your time or that of others half committing to a cause, or even worse, saying you’re committed to the cause, saying you want to get into it more, and then when given opportunities you bail.
Kelly Cordes runs a great blog, one of my favorites to read, and he asks the question as to why there isn’t more good sport climbing and bouldering literature available. He hypothesizes that this is due to the lack of TRUE commitment during these activities - there are dedicated dirtbag sport climbers and boulderers, but nothing really forces you to commit like alpine climbing. I’d like to take his hypothesis a few steps further and say that action without commitment is as hollow as a drum, lots of noise with very little action. The worst thing to see is talent without commitment. Having to calculate risks in remote areas seems to have an effect on the mind, and the stories that come with that sort of true adventure, that often create great literature and thought.
I’m exhausted, long day of work today and needed to try some poorly articulated version to get past the writers block that has been plaguing me the last few weeks, maybe this will open it back up again, maybe not. You have just read the poorly written product of 5 hours of sleep and a very long day. I am truly lucky to get to complain about a long day at work, considering how many people in this great country are without jobs.
